I have some bad news, everycat. Persephone has had a relapse. Last Night my OTW found her rolling on the kitchen floor, with glazed eyes, and her tongue hanging out, and her paws waving in the air.
She was lying by the same tin she committed fanged robbery at previously, a known 'nip trafficking spot, covered in the evidence of her sad fall from sobriety. She was meowing disjointedly about parties and nip and how she knew the 'nip gods wouldn't have forsaken her.
At first she was all "I LOOOOOVE you, Food Lady-Mom!!!" and "I wanna plaaaaaaaaaay!!" but when my OTW tried to confiscate the mouse-baggie of nip, Persephone got a little... rambuctious. Her claws came out and the paws started flailing.
She started yelling for her nip, accusing my OTW of trying to hoard all the 'nip for herself! And then she tried to chew through the baggie to get the nip into a giant pile on the floor to roll in, before my OTW could get it away!
Mmy OTW finally got the baggie away, Persephone got a little wild and desperate at the smell of the 'nip that had gotten all over them and tried to attack her hands and rub all over them!
She even started yelling rude things about my OTW's mental capacity, moral fitness, and the marital status of her maternal parent (who's really a nice lady even if she doesn't like cats)!
When she finally settled down she started getting all "I have NOT got the munchies!!! I'm just hungry! I'm a growing girlcat!!" as if we didn't all know better! My OTW saided she was going to have to report her to the KittyCOPS!
So, sadly, her parole was revoked and she ended up in kitty jail again, where she mournfully meowed jailcat songs and rattled her food bowl along the bars to get the guards' attention. She started talking about finding herself a pet mousie toy to be her prison pet.
So, that's why we missed the party. Persephone will have to do Catmunity Service when she gets out, and has been ordered to attend Catnip Anonymous.
Anycat know how we get her in?
We are sorry to learn of the relapse...but maybe there will be just a kitty fine when she is up furr her kittycourt appearance?!
Goodness...We sympathsize with you...Kaia has a problem, too!
Oh dear. Hope you can get Persephone back on the wagon soon. Bonus is that rehab is so hot right now... just make sure that she doesn't shave her furs off and get tattoos.
Oh my Persephone! Sorry to hear you had a relapse. Jack, hopefully you can help set Persephone straight!
I gess fur some der is no such thing as responsibul use. Pablo is rite, rehab is hot and reely seems to help the flagging career. We hope you can get Persephone into a good place.
ha ha ha oh dear, we shouldn't laugh. Poor Persephone, it is tough to kick an addiction. Pablo is right, rehab is the only way (and a great way to be more popular!)
Wowie! Persephone really went on a bender. It looked fun.... I mean it was wrong!
Mom's laffin! This is serious, an she's laffin! Nip makes me a little violin, too. I haf a history of grabbin an puntourin the bags. Bonnie gets silly an rolly, then gets the munchies.
If Persephone's still under 18 monfs, she can be transferred to juvenile court like I was fur plant pluckin.
Email boni AT catnipanonymous DOT com to join Catnip Anonymouse. You'll find yur in good company.
Oh my it does sound like an intervention is needed. There is a 12 step program on the Catnip Anonymous blog.
Post a Comment