Thursday, August 16, 2007

Scary Late Thursday Thirteen

As promised, some scary fact about vishus deers you may not know!


1. The largest vishus deers are the Alaskan moose, which are 6ft tall at the shoulder and have antlers that are 6ft wide!! That’s 4 Gizzys wide!!! That’s almost as tall as the Big One!!

The Smallest is the Leaf Muntjac, which lives in Malaysia. They’re only one Gizzy tall at the shoulder which is only twice as tall as me at the shoulder.

You’d think cats would be safe in Malaysia with such small vishus deers, but NO!! Malaysia also has the world’s smallest breed of cats!! The Singapura!! They’re only tiny like kittens!

2. The Island of Newfoundland had no vishus moose deers until 1904, when humans BROUGHT THEM TO THE ISLAND!!! They introduced just four of them, but now they are over-run with vishus moose deers!! There’s one vishus moose deer for every four humans!! Does anycat know any Newfoundland cats?!?

3. Tennessee had almost gotten rid of all their vishus deers, but then they got other states to give them deers and now they have more than a million!!!! What were they THINKING?!?!?

4. There are more vishus caribou-deers in Alaska than peoples!!! Do we know anycat from Alaska?!?

5. We cats have a friend in the Orcas (Killer Whales, who aren’t even whales, they’re dolphins!) Orcas eat vishus deers who go all swimming up in their waters!

6. Sharks only kill 6-15 people a year!! Vishus deers kill around 100!!!!

7. Vishus deer antlers are made of the same stuff as BIRD FEATHERS and HUMAN FINGERNAILS!!! Maybe that’s why some humans seem to be in league with the vishus deers!!

8. Vishus deers can’t eat hay!!

9. There’s a place in Alberta called Moose Row and my OTW and the Big One have to travel along it to get to the Big City where they get my new toys!!

And along Moose Row are roads called Deerfoot Rd

And Antler Rd!!!

Both of which are near a town called No Jack!!!

10. The Big Santa’s Vishus Reindeer Lie may be based on Lappland’s myth of flying reindeer who guarded their shamans! Reindeer apparently LOVE hallucinogenic mushroom that stimulate their muscles and mean they can leap further than normal!! Which means they can chase us even faster when they’re on DRUGS!!! Do we know anycat from Lappland?!?

11. Vishus reindeer like bananas!!

12. A group of vishus elk-deer are called a ‘gang’! Are we surprised?!?

13. Even our moneys aren’t safe!! (At least in Canada!) There are vishus caribou-deers on them!!! I have my paw near it to whap it if it tries anything!

Be ever vigilant everycat!!!


Anonymous said...

Wow. Momma has wished to live in Canada what with all the political stuff here, but with money like that, I'm certainly glad that they live here!

Bad Kitty Cats & Megan said...

Well Good Morning Jack! Wow we did not know about some of these things, like the finger nails. Wow ... and Orcas eating them. Ick!

We thank you for sharing, maybe you should consider converting your mones to yins and yangs or something. Hmmmm

Purrs and Scritches on this fine day!

Mr. Hendrix said...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk run and hide, run and hide, where to hide?? they're everywhere! even on money! nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

Zippy, Sadie, Speedy and M'Gee said...

*shiver* We're not safe ENEWARE! Not even da monees is safe! We will be hiding under da bed if yoo need us, mom.

Daisy said...

I knew it! I knew it! Vishus deer cause even more deaths than SHARKS! You might be afraid to go in the water, but you should really be afraid to go Outside!!!

KC and the Giggleman Kitties said...

KC said...
O, Jack, another excellent reepurrt. i's agree wif Daisy, we should reely be afraids ta go outside. i knowed i's liked Orcas fur a reeson.
i's so glad u's back, wuz so worried bout u's....
Headbumpies and Purrrs,
ur's gurlfriendcat furr-ever!

Hot(M)BC said...

That one place sounds definitely like a NoJack type of place. Avoid it at all costs!
your bud Pepi

Karen Jo said...

Thank you for all the information on vishus deer. I'm going to stay away from Lappland for sure. Vishus deer on drugs just doesn't bear even thinking about.

Samantha & Mom said...

Oh my, vishus deer are everywhere. I don't think Florida has a lot of those, but we have vishus alligators!
Have a good weekend!
Your FL furiends,

Anonymous said...

Mom was born and raised in Tennessee, and we still live here.
She said tot tell you "it wasn't all of us that made the decision to bring in deer, it was government humans. Enough said!"
(Government humans don't think.)

sammawow said...

Oh my goodness, Jack, that is some exellent research! We are just going to stay home in Missouri, where we have seen the vishus deer but no huge moose dudes!

Purrrrrrs, China Cat & Willow