Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I'm back!

I'm back and I'm sorry to have been gone so long. My OTW's competition went well. She didn't win, but the person who did said she was surprised and thought my OTW was going to. My OTW did tie for a prize for Populace choice, which she says means she and another person got the most votes for favourite from the people there.

I've been very busy, training kittens, though Persepone really doesn't need much more training. In fact, she's been helping me train Squeak to be a civilised cat! Squeak's doing great and is ready to go home to her humans in a day or so! She's a fierce hunter, too!

And it's a good thing. A week ago the Big One came home and said he saw a vishus deer in the street IN FRONT OF OUR APARTMENT!!!!!! Squeak's people are moving into the apartment beside us!

Though I'm looking forward to getting my spot on the bed between my OTW's legs back. Squeak keeps stealing it, and if we fight she throws us all off the bed for waking her up! Like its MY fault!!

I've also been busy on a new information pamphlet on vishus deer and their infiltration of the entertainment business!

I fear, however, I am becoming even more convinced that my OTW has a vishus deer ghostie in her brains, because she goes away for this contest, and she travels through a place called "Moose Row" and stopped in a place called "Red Deer" and brought home this! Coincidence? Or was she really at a Vishus Deer Convention learning new tricks to lure tender juicy young kitties for her vishus deer masters?

And there's more! These are the "tools" she carved out of vishus deer antlers! She says they're not to hurt juicy young kitties with, but I ask you, everycat, Don't these things look dangerous? Those needles and that pin beater are clearly meant to skewer juicy young kitties! The beater is even carved from the skewerer of the vishus deer antler! And would YOU want to be combed with a comb made from a vishus deer?!?

On the other hand, not all humans are fooled by this! When the human vikings judged these tools, they didn't think they were any good!

Or.....maybe they just didn't think they were good enough to skewer us cats!

It gets worse! While she was 'working' on her tools she kept forgetting to fill our kibble bowls or feed us gooshy food. She even 'forgot' to tell the Big One we were out of kibble and we had to knock over the bucket and leave him a note in his shoe! Was she trying to starve us? Not so much we lose the meat off our bones (and Persephone's got LOTS now!), but enough to weaken us?

And I got a really nice Valentine's Day card from Skeezix (Thanks Skeez!!!) and she's put it on the computer where she can see it whenever she sits typing! She said he looks delicious!!! Does that mean she thinks he looks cute? Or that she wants to trick me into getting him to visit so she can catch him?

And the day after she came home, she clipped both the kittens' claws!!!! And Grumpybutt's! She hasn't gotten me yet, but it's only a matter of time! Is it that she's tired of getting cat scratches that get all red and yucky? Or is she trying to take away our defences?

Was all this 'work' that kept me off the computer really a competition? Or was it about a Vishus Deer convention? And she just didn't want me to see what she was up to? And to keep me from my network of support? And to keep me from informing the kitty population about this threat?

I will maintain my vigilence Everycat! If she does have a vishus deer ghostie in her brain, I won't let her get me or the kittens! And she won't stop me from publishing the truth about the Vishus Deer Conspiracy!

PS. I missed you all too! Especially you, KC! Purrrrrrrrrrs!


Gemini said...

Oh Jack, this could be furry scary news. You take care and stay vigilant.

The Meezers or Billy said...

yes Jack, stay alert- we fink she may haf a 'spirasee wif the vishus deer

Jake and Bathsheba said...

Jack, we are so glad you are back. And safe and sound for now! Keep up your vigilence.!

If you have time, be sure to vote for Skeezix in the "Mr. Litterbox" competition. Polls close tonight and the competition is ruthless.


Zippy, Sadie, Speedy and M'Gee said...

Oh Jack, we hope yoor mom duzent haf a vishus deer spirit in her. Stay vijilent. Zippy sez if she's carving stuff out of vishus deer antlers duzent dat meen dat da deer iz ded or at da very leest antlerless? Maybe she is taking away der skewers one dat a time in da hopes of saving moor yung jewsy kitties.

Karen Jo said...

Hmmm, your Mom certainly does seem to be spending a lot of time with vishus deer stuff. Stay alert and vigilant. It's good to see you back.

Daisy said...

Jack, I am glad you are back! It is a very good thing you are being vigilant about the vishus deer. Those are some suspicious activities yer Mommie is up to.

Memories of Eric and Flynn said...

Dis is furry suspishus. It sownds like yer mum has been taken ofurr by vishus deer. Yoo will haf to be furry furry keerfull.We's glad to see yoo back too.