My friend Scouty has to deal wiff a Great Ebil! His humans are planning on putting him in a stew-pot! And GOBBLING HIM ALL UP!!!! Some kitties says he shouldn't worry, but I think he's in Danger!!! And better safe than eaten! My Ebil Arch-Nemesis Lady-Person-Kitten-Cuddler is always scooping me up and making eat-y noises on my belly and toes and saying "NOM NOM NOM" and "You're so cute I could gobble you all up!" I bet his peoples are just as Crazy Ebil!!
Scouty, I has forumatted...formullleight....um, made up a Sooper-Hero Plan to save the day! My sister, Pers....um... Tenzing's sister, Persephone showed me this book My Ebil Arch-Nemesis Lady-Person-Kitten-Cuddler has!
Persephone: I did NOT!!!! I'm a good girlcat! I would NEVER show you one of mommy's books! We're not even supposed to touch them! It was PersePHONY, Tenzing!
Tenzing: Was NOT! PersePHONY doesn't exist! You made her up so you wouldn't get in trouble!!
Persephone: Did NOT!
Tenzing: Did TOO!
Persephone: Did NOT!
Tenzing: Did TOO!
Persephone: Did NOT!
Tenzing: Did TOO!
Persephone: HISSSSSSSSS ::bite::
Tenzing:RAWRRRRRRRRR!!!! ::kickkickkick::
Persephone: MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY! Tenzing's fighting again!
'Mommy': Tenzing! Knock it OFF!!!
Tenzing: Cheezit! It's the Cops! Er, the Ebil Arch-Nemesis Lady-Person-Kitten-Cuddler!!
Whew! Escaped! As I was saying Scouty, SOMEcat who won't say she did TOO do it, showed me this book and it's a GREAT book! A great BIG book! And it's full of pictures! And see this page here? It shows where all the meaty bits on peoples are!
This is important 'acause according to my Sooper-Hero Plan, what you need to do is stay out of the stew-pot and EAT THEM FIRST!!!
My Sooper-Hero plan is to cook THEM in the Stew-pot! (You'll need a big stew-pot!)
I watch my peoples cook all the time and I know you need the right ingredients. You don't want garlic, or onions like over in the bowl, even though lots of chutneys has them, 'acause garlic and onions is EBIL for kitties!
But this yellow stuff besides me tastes like butter and butter is YUMMY! And it comes in this squeezy bottle you don't need thumbs for! Also, you want salt to soften the meats up if your human is old. You want the liquid salt in the pour-y bottle behind me, 'acause you can chew off the cap and tip it over and don't need thumbs!
Next you gotta lay out the stew-pot like a trap! The best place to do this is in the baffroom where they can't hear you pouncing your brothercat or ANYthing when the water is falling out of the wall! And they'll be all clean already! And there's water right there you can get in the pot!
Ebil Arch-Nemesis Lady-Person-Kitten-Cuddler: ACK! ::Splash:: What the...??? Hey! What's my dye pot doing in the bathroom?!?!? And what's this stuff floating in it?!?!?
Tenzing: Don't forget some nice fresh or dried herbs too! I has fresh grass and 'acause my Mo... um, the Ebil Arch-Nemesis Lady-Person-Kitten-Cuddler can't grow NUFFIN, I has dried catnip! Mmmmmm.... catnip........ nomnomnomnomdragdragpwhapnomnom... ahem.
And then you stew them up and EAT them!
And for dessert, you has some nice HAAAAAAIRRRAWRRRR!!!!!
I hope this solves your problem, Scouty!
~The Red Meniss!
11 comments:
Tenzing, you crack us up! You're definitely a sooper-hero! :-)
you got it all well-planned! Wow, I'm amazed! How you got it all in your head all at once? Wow, I'm amazed, I really do!!
RED MENISS!!!!!!! This is the ORINCH MENISS!! Let ME know if YOU needs any helps!!!!!!!!!!
BILLY's mom lady person is werking on our owtfits and they should be ready next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RED MENISS!
I like your diabolical plan A LOT!!!! I am on the lookout for a great big stew pot. I may use the bathtub if I can lure the dried chicken feeding womun into there without her using any of that disgusting bubbly stuff that makes me sneeze. She lays in there with her eyes closed so that would be the moment to STRIKE!!!!
Hmmmm, if you is the RED MENISS and Billy is the ORINCH MENISS, what kind of MENISS would that make me? TANGERINE? Nah, too wussy. I gotta think on that one, too.
We will plan further...
Yes that is a Sooper Hero. I am not planning to eat my human because once I did, who would feed me?
Oh man, yoo little orinch boycats is all goofy. Lady beins do NOT eat kitties. We know cuz dad always sugjests roast kitty for dinner and mom sez no...wait, holy Bast, it's da men beins dat wanna eat us! Oh nooooo, what do we do now?
Yikes! You got that planned well.
This is the best plan ever! You are a brilliant young boy!
Thank heaven we still have Super Heros!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You have a good plan too;) heehee
Purrs Mickey, Georgia & Tillie
Hmmm, not sure we want to eat the lady mum.
when you get this stew all made, let me know. i do not realleh want to try boilin up my mommeh, but i may come and take a taste of yours.
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