Saturday, December 05, 2009

Cold Weather Survival Guide

We are Very Worried! My Girlfriendcat reports SNOW in Texas! Now we know Texas kitties often don't have much experience with this Evil White Stuff that falls from the sky, and neither do lots of other kitties living in other warm places, but living almost at the North Pole, we do, so we decided to put together a guide for surviving Cold Weather, for all you kitties who aren't sure what to do!

We have added some suggests from our readers!

The Most Important thing to remember it to STAY WARM!!! So long as your humans are ok, your food and water won't run out (though it might be a bit icky and cold), so STAYING WARM is the biggest issue!

First tip: Make efficient use of whatever sunspots you get! Your belleh is a more efficient warm collector than your back, so present your bellehs to be worshipped by the sun!

If there's no sunspots and it's naptime, you have to find a way to stay warm. Curling up in a tight ball helps you keep your heats!

Make sure your humans have provided you with MANY boxes and baskets lined with warm blankets. Especially ones you can snuggle down into. Wooly blankets are best. Sheep furs are good at retaining heat.

Mommies and Daddies are always looking at stuff that gives off heats lots. Hang out on those, and steal their warms!

Another good idea is to cover yourself up with a warm quilt.

Or crawl into cat caves.

Or closets full of long clothes that hang down around you, as the clothes will hold pockets of heat.

Take over the Mommies and Daddies' warm spots as soon as they move! You gotta act fast! Pounce in and curl up as soon as they lift their butts off the seat! The warms are going away by the time they walk away, and you don't want to lose any!

You can also snuggle with your siblings. Fat Sisters are especially warm.

JACK!!! ::whap:: Remember, DON'T LET YOUR BROTHER BITE YOU! Moms of Damocles are good for keeping Bitey Brothers from biting you!

'Finding' a good bed right beside mommies is also good as she can put her arm around you and scritch you and cuddle you all warm.

Laying across Mommy-arms is even better. You can snuggle up against her tummy, and steal her warms! Her wrists make good pillows too!

Even better than arms is human shoulders. One shoulder's good if you just want a little extra warm, or you can wrap yourself around the back of her neck. Just make her scrunch down her shoulders so you can use them as a ledge.

The back of Mommy's chair is good too, if you don't want to have to move when Mommy decides her back is hurty all scrunched up and she stretches.

If your human IS so rude as to dislodge you, you can move around to the front. Many female humans have built-in ledges there anyway, and even big mancats can have enough room if you push on her neck with your booty until she tilts her chair back so you stop strangling her.

Best of all! Curl up on your mommy's tummy and make her wrap her sweater over you and pretend you're wallabies! It's the warmest and snuggliest of all!

Of course, there's always the classic. Laps. Laps are pawsome!!!

Cheysuli and Gemini suggested making use of fireplaces. We live in an apartment and do not have one, only a picture of one on the TV. This will not keep you warm. A real fireplace will.

George, from The Crew said we should include snuggling under the blankets and quilts on the bed! I do, but only at night with Mommy, so Mommy has no pictures. I've taken over Midnight Snuggle Burgling from Whisper who went to the bridge, except I just come over and TELL Mommy to lift the covers and let me in!!

Here is Whisper showing a good way to snuggle under the blankets if Mommies aren't there and you have to keep an eye out for Hallway Monsters who might break into your house, or Bitey Brothers!

You can also snuggle ALL THE WAY under them like Jack does, if you have a Good Sistercat, like Jack does, who DOESN'T pounce you or bite you when you're snuggling under the blankets!

(Jack is getting COAL for Christmas!! I just know it!!)

Our Human has wimpy arms so the only kitty around here who could make use of Dushi and Paddy, of Cats in Trees' suggestion of snuggling in armpits was Squeak, the kitten we sat on for weeks while her people found a new place next door.

Larger cats can knock down giant humans onto beds and snuggle into armpits by being persistent and refusing to take no for an answer.

Squeak also demonstrates the smallcat alternative of snuggling in the humans' pants legs, if you don't want to be annoyed with unasked for pettins.

We have a NEW FRIEND! Harry Spotter (not him above) dropped by and said we forgot electric blankets! We did, because we don't have one of these. Daddy has a 'lectric back pad for his back, but he hides it because he doesn't want our furs all over it! Imagine!

Our friends BJ, Smokey and Sol, Jack's girlfriendcat's brothers have one. We hope their Mom ML doesn't mind that we borrowed a picture. (Here's BJ demonstrating his power of turning it on!!!)

Austin, Nico and JayJay, at Nico, the Poly Meezer, and our friend Derby,both suggested lying on heat vents, which we forgot, 'cause we don't have any. If you don't know what they are, you should be able to find them quick once it gets cold. They're on the floor and warm air blows up out of them and they're usually just about cat-loaf sized!

Some older places have ones like these, instead! These kinds are PAWSOME! When I was a young man-cat, my OTW and lived in an old apartment that had these, and she'd put a wooly blanket on them and I'd nap there all day, toasty warm! (Sorry it's a bad picture. It was made with an old camera...the kind that actually used FILM!!!!)

Some places, like ours have these kinds. They're not as good. But at least in this room there's one corner behind the War Room Chair where the heat is on two walls and the chair blocks in some heat.

We don't want you to think we made a mistake and should have remembered heat vents, because of this corner. The OTW STAGED this photo. There's always some dumb metal post thing here that does something that makes mist that the OTW NEVER EVER USES hogging this great corner. AND she not only planted the cushion there, but lured Persephone back there with the parsNIP.

And our final tip: if the worst, the very worstest, baddest, terriblest happens, and it gets so cold your humans, who have no furs, DIE of's important to know where the best meaty bits are.

Just in case.

Stay warm, everycat!


KC and the Giggleman Kitties said...

Wow, Jack, you's done it again.
Excellent survival guide.
We Sherwood kitties should be able to handle the cold wif those tips.
That last tip was furry inspired. Hee hee.
Telerport on over here and we'll snuggle. Mommy has homemade soup and fresh baked bread, so there's some warming foods.
Love & Purrs,

Jans Funny Farm said...

Oooh, we definitely can't let Jan read that last tip. But the others are great!

Memories of Eric and Flynn said...

That is a very good guide. We will remember all your tips. The last one was particularly interesting.

Gemini and Ichiro said...

Fireplaces are the bestest!!!

The Crew said...

You've given excellent advice, Jack. We're in Whisk-onsin and it's very cold here now. Personally, I prefer to sleep under the quilt on the big bed.


Egypt & The Musketeers said...

A very excellent and thorough guide that can be used by all.

BTW, how far from the North Pole do you live? We figure it would be cold year round.

Cats in trees said...

Thank you for all the great tips. We are going to have our first winter, so it's important to know these things before the cold begins.
Still, we have a good one too: crawl under the humans arm and snuggle right up to the armpit. Superwarm.

Anonymous said...

Jack, thank you so much for the information! It's coming in very handy tonight, due to the snow in our part of Pennsylvania.

Mickey's Musings said...

Jack,that pawsome advice probably saved a ton of kitties!!!!!
We survive with snow. We don't like it,but we survive ;) heehee
WE can't believe Texas has snow!!
We will get some tonight ;(
Purrs Mickey, Georgia & Tillie

Cory Clark said...

It's getting colder in Virginia, so we read your survival very carefully... it was great! What about heat vents?? We have them on the floor of our house & lay across them when they're on! Mom get's kind of mad when we do this 'cuz it's supposed heat the whole house - but isn't warming the kitties more important??

Austin, Nico & JayJay :)

Just Ducky said...

All good suggestions Jack, I don't live as far north as you. But I like to lay on the warm blowy heaty thing to help stay warm. The beans have to make sure that keep paying green papers to keep that going.

KC and the Giggleman Kitties said...

I fink tha post is just wonderful.
I agree, no telling how many kitties you haf saved wif this artickle.
An mind brofur, BJ, was so helpful in showing how to use an electric blankie.
Furry good post, Jack.
Love & Purrs,

Mr. Hendrix said...

Excellent survival guide Jack! And timely too, we just got our first snow of the season.
Ah, it was great to see Whisper's face. What a cool dude he was, even if he was grumpy. it was fun to see Squeak too! Certainly she won't be that size now.
I don't snuggle much with the mommy or daddy, but your picture all wrapped up looks cozy so I may try. I am very glad we have some of our vents because they are under the trees and the village and I get a nice warm "room" all to myself.
You stay warm up there and say Hi! to Santa

Victor Tabbycat said...

Furry good, Jack and Persephone! I has one more I fink Jack will like: when I find Nina all snuggled asleep, I jump up to say "HAI" an fur sum reason, she leafs! She leafs a nice warm spot, so der I goes.

Da firstest cat liked to sit unner a lamp by da couch. He'd put his head rite in der, where it was furry warm. Dis don't werk too good if you gots floor-s-scent lites insteada nice, warm energy hoggin ones.
Purrs and SPIN,
PS Spinning gets treats an treats make us fat an fat keeps us warm!

Anita said...

That is a very good guide! Muahahahaha!!


Nice to meet you :-)


Turkey Cats said...

Great advice, Jack! We have snow now too. Batman wants to come over and snuggle with Persephone.

Zippy, Sadie, Speedy and M'Gee said...

We sure hope dat if our mom dies from da colds she goes face down. We could live on da meaty parts of her butt fur months!