Man-Cat Monday Confessions

Well, my beautiful girlfriendcat, KC, tagged me for the confessions meme and I've thought about it and thought about it and thought about it. I just can't think of much to confess, 'cause I'm the good cat.

And Persephone squealed on me anyway a few weeks back.

Yes, yes I go in the storage closet in the hall. It's the one closet we're not allowed in and she lets me in all the others even though she doesn't want me in them. But I want to know what's in THAT one. But it's not bad. I do it because it's my job as Head-Cat to investimigate all the closets and cupboards in the house.

And yes, yes I steal all the make-up brushes and sometimes paint brushes in the house. But that doesn't make me a bad cat! My OTW doesn't even WEAR make up!! And if she doesn't take care of her paintbrushes and put them away, how is that MY fault??? ( though I suppose occasionally chewing on the toothbrushes when I haven't had a makeup brush in a while is bad--but maybe if she'd get me more makeup brushes it wouldn't happen so it's her own fault!!!)

And I guess the fact that I sometimes decide to investimigate the water in the people-box and splash it all over the seat isn't nice, but she pokes around in my box after I go! I'm just checking is all!!!

But then my OTW decided to go away, and I realized I do occasionally do bad things. Like Thursday morning I did the bestest trick on her!!! She was saying goodbye to us cats, and making sure we knew she'd be gone when it was night, but she'd be back for the next night, 'cause she always tells us how long she's gonna be gone though I don't know why, it's always a squillion naps anyhow, and it doesn't change the fact that she's NOT HERE!!! And she petted Grumpybutt and told him she'd be gone for just one night and she was sorry but his Awesome Man (Whisper says thanks Chase, he likes that term) with her. And then she scooped up Persephone and told her she loved her and she was just going to be gone one night and not to tear apart the house and not to terrorize Grumpybutt, and that I would look after her.

And then she came looking for me.

And looking.

And looking.

And calling, and looking some more.

And checking out all the hide-y spots she knows about, even the back of the costume closet which always makes her come out with her hair standing on end.

And yelling and looking around.

And talking to the Big One on the phone and saying she can't find me and isn't coming down to the blue machine until she does, and looking and yelling some more.

And even better, Persephone decided to help me with the trick! Every time my OTW went past Persephone, she'd look carefully to see if it was her or me, and then move on. And Persephone would get up and move. And then my OTW would come around the other side and see Persephone in a different spot and check her carefully to see if it was her or me and it would be her again!! And this went on for a squillion minutes!! It was, as Miles says, eleventy-eight different kinds of fun!!

She finally spotted me. I was sitting in one of the cat houses. The one I hardly ever sit in. At the back. In the shadows. Which I blend into with my furs that are all kinds of different shades of black. And I wouldn't come out to let her kiss me and cuddle me and love on me either.

And when she came home, and did not bring me one single new toy!, Not one!!!, just some magazines and some stuff to make her hair purple and green, I did another really great trick!!

She didn't get home until the birds were getting up. And she had to shower and then she went to bed and fell right asleep. Well, I hopped up on the bed, and lay down and waited until she was good and sleeping and making loud snorty noises, and then I walked up onto the pillow above her head and I sat my booty down and leaned my head over her and PURRRRRRED!! And she woke up. Then she scritched me a little and got up and used her box and came back and scritched me some more and put me on the end of the bed and went back to sleep.

And when she was good and asleep again, I walked up onto the pillow above her head and I sat my booty down and leaned my head over her and PURRRRRRED!! Again!! And she woke up again!! And petted me and got up and ate little round things out of a bottle she keeps in a cupboard up on the wall in the litterbox room. And came back and scritched me more and put me on the foot of the bed and went back to sleep.

And when she was good and asleep again, I walked up onto the pillow above her head and I sat my booty down and leaned my head over her and PURRRRRRED another time!!! And she woke up again!! But this time she scooped me up and loved on me all over and rubbed her face in my belly and ruffled my furs and kissed me lots and blew on my tummy and made noises and stuff, so I decided when she went back to sleep not to do it again.

Besides, it was breakfast time, and then it was post-breakfast nap time, and I like napping my post-breakfast nap between her legs, so I didn't want her to move.

It was fun!!

But now I heard the Big One say she's got to get up early tomorrow 'cause they're going some where else!! And I bet they won't bring me a toy this time either!! Fssssssk!! I gotta come up with another trick!!

Bad OTW!

No! No kisses!! You're a bad cat-mom! First you hog the computer all day, so I can't go visit my friends' Peace Globes, and now you're going to go away! Overnight even! So, no kisses for you!


Oh, alright, a few kisses.

Bring me back a new cat toy.

(Psssst, everycat! Come visit! We've got lots of the good kibble and I know where she hides the Temptations!!)

Dona Nobis Pacem

Tabby Tuesday

Mom! Squeak's in my basket!

C'mon Squeak, it's MY basket! You have to share!

Hey! No using laser-eyes on me!!!!


All I wanted was a nap in my basket.

I even would have shared.

Sigh.

PS, my beautiful girlfriendcat, KC tagged me for the Confessions meme, but I'm still working on it. I can't think of anything to confess! I'm the GOOD cat!!

Saturday Announcement

I have an announcement to make!!!

As everycat knows, Jack is my Food Lady-Mom's Artist's Model and Assistant. Whisper, the Grumpy Cat is My Giant the Grumpy Man's therapist. I am now one whole year old, and I decided it was time to find a job in my house, myself.

After much rassling with Jack, who told me I can't be my Food Lady-Mom's Model because I don't pose right, and don't take directions from the photographer (and I think because he's jealous that I'm the prettiest Queen of the Universe) I have decided that I don't mind my picture being taken, but I will not be a model.

And after much sniffing and pawing around, my Food Lady-Mom says I cannot be her Artist's Assistant, because it is not helping when I steal her strings and run away with them. Nor is it helpful when I yell at her to let me sit in her lap when she is sitting in front of one of her looms as there is no room for me. So I have decided I will not be an artist's assistant.

But I will still yell at her to let me sit in her lap, 'cause it's mine.

And after much meowing of questions all over the house at my Food Lady-Mom, and at Jack, and at My Giant, and at Whisper, and at the food dish, and at the chair, and at the birds flying past the balcony and at the dining room table, I have decided what job I can do.


I will be my Food Lady-Mom's Research Assistant, and Typist.


I am very good at keeping her in her chair at the computer writing, which is the hardest thing about being a writer, she says. Putting your booty in the chair and just writing.


I can also help her think about important things like the nature of community, and why her characters want to kill storytellers, and how to find good information on the innernets, and what alliterates with xylophone, and whether it's time to get up and give the kitties gooshy foods.


Being a writer's assistant is hard work!!!

Man-Cat Monday

Mooooooooom!!!! Quit it!!

Silly Sunday

My OTW has hurted her back and can't do anything useful, so she thought she'd do something funny instead. Even though it hurts her back to laugh, and she can't pick me up to pet me.










This one was by the Big One. It should show up on I Can Has Cheezburger any day now.

That's it. That's all we got. I'm gonna go sulk for tummyrubs now. Probably won't get any. She should stretch more.