Wednesday, November 29, 2006

I Won!!!

I won something!!! Thank you Zeus!!! Oh, I just realized! I read you all the time and you're not in my links list! I just added you!

But you know what the best part of the contest was? Lots of new visitors!

So, Hi Beau Beau and Angie, Cheysuli, Gemini and Georgia, Bob-cat, Renee, Samantha, Yuki and Kimiko, Taps, Snowy, Siamia, Pounce, and Shamy!

Also Hi to Dragonheart, I'm not sure where you came visiting from!

Hi to Daphne, Chloe, Spooker and Jazpurr, who were here on Peace day and got added to my list, but I forgot to welcome them!

I'd also like to point you all to a few other new friends I made at House Panthers. Go say hi to Petey, Happy-Go-Lucky, Punkin, Luna, Sooner and Hockey Puck, Pablo, Merlin Shadow and KoKo( I think some of you know them), and Faz.

And don't forget Ferdinand!

Wow! So many new friends!!

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Tough-A** Tortie Tuesday

In honour of Tough-a** Tortie Tuesday, I have the OTW make my a** tortie, while wearing my tough viking costume.

And in honour of KC, I have a golden tortie paw.

I'm glad you're home and getting better, KC.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Midnight Monday and News!

Yay!!!! KC's getting better!!!!!

So the first thing to report because I should have reported it days ago is that I got my Frends of Skeezix package!! It came.....um I don't know. Dozens of naps ago, but first I didn't have the pictures off the camera and then the OTW was hogging the computer and then I forgot. I'm sorry Skeezix. I don't think I deserve to be the President of your Canadian chapter since I can't even remember to say I got your great buttons.



This is me with the package. The Big One made the OTW wait and wait and wait until I was done napping so I could open it, and he wouldn't let her do it. I think all the training is starting to take on the Big One. Though I don't know why she just didn't wake me up and tell me the package was here! Naps are important but so is my package from Skeezix 'cause it took so long to get here. I think the man in the blue shorts up here has to bring it by dog-sled!!!!


Here I am admiring the buttons and the really good paper to lie on.

I was right Skeezix! They do make great hockey pucks!!! I sniffed them good, and batted around them a bit.


This was me when I realized the OTW stole one of them and put it on the fridge!!!! It was the bestest one, that had the big picture of Skeezix and was a good hockey puck whichever side it was laying on, too!! As you can see, I sat on the rest and glared so she couldn't steal anymore!!!

The second bit of news is that my peoples are safe home. They even came back when they said they would! I couldn't believe they left though!!!! When my OTW snuggled me just before leaving, she told me she would miss me lots (well, I knew that!!!) and that she loved me (again, not so much with the surprises there, human!) and that she'd be back the very next day in the evening (which she was) and when she put me down I jumped straight into the little box and started gnawing on the flap which makes her laugh, and she picked me up in the box and I licked her nose and was the sweetest, bestest, most adorable cat that ever did live, and she still left!!!!!!! And she called me a monster on the way out!!!!!!!!!!!

When she got home she said they were safe most of the way even though they saw three vishus moose-deers, because most of the way they were driving really really fast. She said the Big One drove one hundred and twenty kilometres per hour!!! She said if I'm going to tell my friends about it, that one hundred and twenty kilomtres per hour is about the same as seventy five miles per hour, which is very very fast, and the vishus moose-deer only glared at them 'cause they could never ever ever ever catch them when they went that fast. The Big One says, "unless the vishus deer start mating with cheetahs and making vishus cheetah-deers" and laughed a lot.

Well of course that would never happen because cheetahs are VERY BIG CATS!!!!! Even bigger than Kismet!!! And you know what else? Cheetahs eat vishus deers! They do!!! Vishus gazelle deers!! I will tell you all about vishus gazelle-deers in my new, expanded Vishus Deers of the World booklet, when I write it. And I'm thinking of writing a Vishus Deer Attack Survival Guide for Cats, too, and I will study how these cheetahs kill the vishus gazelle-deers and we can learn their techniques!

And the third bit of news is that my peoples said they went away to pretend to be Vikings, but they gave away the real reason for their trip when they came home!! They were hunting our Chritmas Presents!!!!!! The Big One said it! He came in the door with lots of bags and said "You monsters had better appreciate us because we went away all weekend and spent all our money on you two instead of ourselves!" And Grumpybutt says he swears he smells catnip! And he'd know, 'cause he's the Drug-Sniffer Kitty!

And the fourth bit of news is that KC's mom says anyone who wants to use the little graphic she made for my Vishus-Deer of the North Pamphlet can, 'cause she made it just for me!!! Purrrrrrs, KC's mom! You're the bestest!!!

And Sanjee, maybe you should put an classified ad on the Blogosphere about you're seeking a fully-qualified ginger cat for a new position as starter-upper of Ginger Cat Wednesday. I think we know several cats who are probably qualified for the job.

Also, Welcome Moose, Nala, Turtle, Chase, Millie, and Pumpkin! I'll add your links to my list in the morning before I do my blog rounds.

Right now my OTW is very tired and I want to go lay on her 'cause I missed my warm spot between her knees last night, and had to settle for burrowing under the blankets by her pillow. And 'cause she gives us treats before she goes to bed and I didn't get any yesterday. So I better get last night's treats tonight. And some extra for letting her go away overnight. And some extra treats to soothe my outrage over her not staying because I'm cute. And some extra treats 'cause she called me a monster!

I'm so happy KC is getting better!!!! I'm doing the Happy Paw Dance!!!!

Saturday, November 25, 2006

I feel really bad

I know everycat was so upset about KC, and Brendan, and Libby, and Tilly, and Lucky Boo at Frends of Skeezix on Catster, and was over at the prayer vigil. I was there in spirit but my OTW was hogging the computer for something about this weekend, 'cause she's going away and had to do it.

But we forgot all about Ferdinand's Party and he was so very excited about it! I stopped by late. But I think we should all stop by and visit and let him know it wasn't because we didn't want to come. I don't want him to think we don't appreciate all the thought and preparation he put into it. It was really really really good food, and he has boxes for us to nap in and everything!


Everyone go say Hi!

I hope he has another one soon! I'd be there with bells on!!!

Friday, November 24, 2006

KC is SICK!!!

I'm very worried!

KC is really really sick! She needs our purrs!!!

Please go to her blog and Purrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

There's no Ginger Day



I noticed there wasn't a day for Gingers. I don't know what day to suggest, but here on my blog this Friday is. This is a really good picture of my buddy Andy. My OTW made it into a t-shirt for the Ginger Lady so she could remember her kitty even when she's out of the house.

He looks really grumpy here because my OTW kept poking his butt to get him to look at the camera. Nocat can make a grumpy face like Andy. Not even Grumpybutt!




He's my buddy! Now he lives with two grey girl-kitties, the Ginger Lady and the Ginger-lady's sister, who belongs to Angel and Sunshine. He's even fatter now!!! The kitty on the other side of him is his long-time companion the Handpuppet of DOOOOOOOOOM!!! He's Andy's 'rassling buddy.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Widebody Wednesday



This is my buddy Andy, the one the Ginger Lady who grew our nip belonged to. When we lived in that apartment we had sun in that spot almost all the day, and my buddy and I spent most all the day there like this. He was really big and good to snuggle with.




Monday, November 20, 2006

Sunday, November 19, 2006

The Story of my Name

Hi Eric and Flynn!! Nice to meet you! You were on vacation when I started blogging so I didn't get to meet you then, and then I met so many cats I got all confused and couldn't remember who I'd met and who I hadn't and lost some links and stuff! So I'm glad you found me!

First, the eyes. Yes Jake and Bathsheba, the second one is me, and the last one is the OTW. We don't have a picture of the Big One's eyes but they look like the OTW's 'cept blue.

The first one is Grumpybutt's eye (that's Whisper for those of you who don't know--he's the other cat that lives here and he's a grumpybutt). The OTW keeps going on and on and on and on and on about his eyes, 'cause she says they're the colour of her amber rings. Fffffsk! I'd be jealous but I'M the one with the beautifulest black furs around here. And she wears green and black all the time to match ME, not amber so she must love me best!

The third eye is from my buddy Andy who I used to live with, who had the Ginger Lady who grew us fresh nip and grass and lots of other interesting-to-sniff plants. I'll post some pictures of Andy on Wednesday for Widebody Wednesday, 'cause he IS a wide body!!!

My name.....dumb isn't it? But then, when I was born, one of my bestest buddies there was a GIANT tuxie cat named Jennifer who was a boy, so I shouldn't be surprised.

I had 4 brothers in my litter, and don't remember that much about being born but I remember living in my OTW's closet when I was really tiny and new. Well, three of my brothers were tuxies, and the other brother was all black like me so it was really hard for them to talk about us because they'd have to call us things like the-black-and-white-kitten-without-the-black-spot-on-his-nose-no-I-mean-the-big-one-not-the-runt which is a really loooooong name. So after a few days they started naming us with short names.

One of my tuxie brothers looked just like our mom, and she was called Harmony, so they named him Melody, or Melly for short. And my other two tuxie brothers were both pretty big and looked a lot alike and they had all these long white hairs in their patches of beautiful black furs, so they called them Salt and Pepper, and Pepper had the black spot on his nose.

The first one they named was actually my other black brother. He was called Slick because all his hair looked slicked back when he was born. When we were three weeks old, he went POOF, like he stuck his tail in a light socket, which we weren't supposed to do, and he looked like a giant poof of fur on legs. Then they thought he was a girl and called him Katie because we were born on the Crazy Lady's mom's birthday and she was Kate, but it turned out Katie was a boy and I think his supposed-to-be-forever people called him Nightmare.

And that just left me. I was just black. I didn't look like anyone, and I didn't have funny furs, and I didn't have white hairs getting all up in my black furs, or nothing (except the six white hairs on my belly which I still have). All my brothers were named when we were only a couple days old, but I was just the Other-Black-Kitten, 'cause they didn't want to call me Blackie, or Ebony, and just when they were going to give up and call me Blackie or Ebony when we were a week and a half old, I opened an eye. But just one. And I was the first they saw do that, so my OTW said "Let's call him One-Eyed Jack"

And I mewed because I liked that and it was a better name than Salt or Smelly-Melly, and then I decide to keep my OTW forever and ever and ever, and followed her around her room, and jumped out of other people's arms so I could go to her and mew at her and tell she's mine and has to pet me first and cuddle me before she could pet and cuddle any other kitty and then, when we were braver and started 'sploring the whole house, I followed her around the house and mewed at her to pick me up and I'd sit on her shoulder and dangle down the back and look at the other kitties and say "She's mine so back off!" And she said I was SMUG!!!

And then she said, "Well, I wasn't planning on taking a kitten because the Crazy Lady already has 6 grown-up cats living in this apartment, and the other person has two buns, and three rats and two budgies and a tank full of fishies, and anyway if I got a cat I want a girl-cat, but I guess he's picked his human, and I'll have to keep him now."

Keep me. Heehee! But I don't think she understood then, because we were born four days after she moved in and she'd never lived with anything but fishies before, though she loved cats. Luckily, she's very clever for a human and learns quickly, so I didn't have to work too hard to train her, or wrap her around my great big paw.

So that's how I got named One-Eyed Jack, though she mostly calls me Jack, which she says turned out to suit me exactly right after all. That is, when she's not calling me one of my 50 other names. More than 50. She says I forgot "Sir Sneaks-a-lot" and "The Purr Monster General"

So how did everyone else get their names?

Friday, November 17, 2006

Friday Eyeday



I have some scary news to report! The vishus moose-deer are attacking people here too!

The Big One came home last night and said one of his staff had been hit by a vishus deer in the road and it wrecked her car (fortunately she was ok, though I bet she was terrified!) and several other staffs said the vishus moose-deers were doing that too! They were charging cars on the highway!!!!

And he said last year, the vishus deer would hide in the mist and when he walked home at night, or took out garbage behind his restaurant, the vishus deer would be right there! Just paw-lengths from him!!!!!

I think they didn't attack him then because they didn't know he was mine, and I hadn't written my pamphlet yet, but now I'm really worried!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

My Vishus Deer Guardpost

Sorry I haven't been 'round much the last week or so. My OTW has been hogging the computer, writing funny-sounding stuff and threatening to set the computer on fire, and wishing um....."mildly embarassing personal problems" on princes who don't do anything. I think that's like when you're sitting over your person's shoulder and you're getting really good spine-scritches and purring and you're really comfortable, and then you fart, right under their nose, and they tell you that you stink and put you down.

Thank you for all the kind words about Murphy, he was a good cat-buddy, even if he called me bad-word names. I knew he didn't mean it and he loved me and he secretly liked me cleaning his ears.

So here's the pictures of the Vishus Deer Forest from my vishus deer guardpost.







That's what it looked like on Sunday. Evil White stuff. But I was very very very brave and went out onto the balcony to check things out, and examine the ground beneath my guardpost for fresh vishus deer tracks. Honest, I DID!!! It got all melty today though, so a lot of it is gone. Good Riddance!!!

You can see how close the Vishus Deer forest is though! Just one street away!!!



There's no wildflowers on the hill in summer, like your mom thought, Jake and Bathsheba, but my OTW says there's daisies under the bridge. The hill just has trees and vishus deer. Skeez, we don't have penguins. Well I have a penguin, but it's little like Derby's bears. We have a Polar Bear though. He lives with us. At least, that's what my OTW keeps calling the Big One. The Eskimos don't have enough snow to build igloos yet, so they're still up north.

And don't worry, I've been very careful since that vishus deer tried to 'timidate the Big One. I make my OTW let me out into the hall before bed so I can go check out the windows at either end, and make sure no vishus deer are sneaking up on me!

Hi Scooby, Shaggy and Scout! Hi, Gattina! Welcome to my blog!! I'll come visit everyone tomorrow morning!

Kitten update: I forgot. My OTW called the shelter day after she told me that she might go get me a kitten (the shelter is at least one good nap away), and the kitten had already gone to a new home. She said she promises, she'll either get me a kitten or a new buddy who likes to play by Christmas, but then the Big One came home a bunch of days later and said we may have a kitty-boarder for a couple months because someone he works with needs to find a place to live and the place she's going to stay while she looks won't let her have the cat there. But I'm definitely getting a kitten or a buddy!

It's too bad we can adopt one of the homeless Rhode Island kitties, but my OTW says she doesn't think she'd be allowed to adopt from over the border. Is that true?

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Tabby Tuesday

Murphy Aloysius Bartholomew
1990-2006

I was going to post pictures of what I see from my balcony as my next post, but this weekend, while my OTW was playing on the internets, she found an old roommate's page, and discovered that her roommate's kitty Murphy had gone to the Rainbow Bridge on Oct 20.

Murphy had fallen and injured himself. He could barely walk after the fall and when her ex-roommate took him to the vet, she found he also had kidney failure and a urinary infection and the vet only gave him 3-6 months to live with treatment.

I lived with Murphy when I was two and I loved him. He was kind of grumpy, like Grumpybutt, but he let me groom him, and snuggle with him sometimes, even if he always asked his mom "Who let in the (bad word) kitten?!?"


I hope all his pain is gone now.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Where I Live (part, the Second)

The Big One took these pictures from the hill where they put up a monument to Twelve Foot Davis. That's very tall. My OTW says this picture is pointing south-south-east. There's nothing but forest past the hill they're on. For a long long long way.



The Big One and my OTW are very very brave. Or maybe really really dumb. This hill? It's the hill across from my apartment. The Forest of Vishus Deer Hill!!!! This picture points south, sort of.

They said they didn't see any Vishus Deer though. But some of the people on the hill with them saw a bear. The Big One and my OTW didn't see it because it ran and hid. Probably scared of the vishus deer lurking in the forest, waiting to see if any of the people brought their juicy young cats up the hill with them.

This picture faces west. The OTW says that patch of concrete is downtown. Almost all of downtown.


The town is all stretched along the river, and you can't see it 'cause the big old hill is in the way, but it stretches north about the same amount past the bridge as you could see south of the bridge, well, on the east side of the river anyway.



We live near the north end of the town, behind the hill. You can't see our place. These pictures were taken in August. My OTW says tomorrow she will help me post pictures of the hill of the Forest of Vishus Deer as it can be seen from my balcony and you can all be horrified by how close it is to me!!!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

The 50 Names of Jack

My OTW doesn't feel like helping me with my paw pictures so instead, I'm posting a list of my names.

Or at least the ones the OTW calls me...

1. Jack Sprat
2. Spratling
3. Sprat-cat
4. O Kitty of Supreme Gorgeousness
5. O Small and Adored One
6. O Best Beloved
7. Mighty Bug Hunter
8. Dread Slayer of Evil Mousie Toys
9. Great Scourge of Smelly Bird Feathers
10. Super Spy Kitty
11. Come-back-here-you-miserable-little-hell-spawned-imp-of-Satan
12. Fiend of hell
13. Kitten-toes
14. Monkey-cat
15. Love-monkey
16. Skitter-kitty
17. Goober-kitty
18. Green-eyed Monstercat
19. Monster-toes
20. Monster-face
21. Cave-kitty
22. Ninja-kitty
23. Beelzebum
24. Beelzebelly
25. Stinky Cat-breath
26. Stinky Cat-butt
27. O Fierce One
28. Pumpkin-kitty
29. Roly-poly Orange Pumpkin
30. Kibble-breath
31. Lick-nose
32. Licky-cat
33. Jack-in-the-Box
34. Hide-y Cat
35. O Discontented One
36. Little Fang
37. Stretchy cat
38. Slinky-in-the-middle
39. Fu Manchu Whiskers
40. Pouncy-puss
41. Octopussycat
42. Great Big Silly
43. You’re-a-loonie
44. Loonie-cat
45. O Wondrous One
46. Great Big Beautiful Burmese Boycat
47. Fur-vert
48. Catfish-face
49. Little Weirdo
50. Tummy Slut

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Say Hello!

There's some blogging Kitties in a place called New Zealand, which my OTW says is all the way on the other side of the globe!

Go say hello to Orb, Jupiter, Mitten, Poppygirl and Tottie!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Widebody Wednesday

As several kitties pointed out, my Midnight Monday picture worked for Tummy Tuesday AND Widebody Wednesday as well. As can be seen here: Midnight Monday

Warning:content of previous post may not be suitable for younger kitties(as several kitties also pointed out).


I wish to assure all the Lady-kitties out there, that this was just a trick of the camera (the OTW is sneaky that way). While I am of a good, solid weight, appropriate for a gentleman-cat of my age and size, I am in fact quite sleek and svelte as you can see in this picture.

I exercise with guts and jingly balls several times a day, and am fighting trim as they say. I also take plenty of naps and participate in sports such as Tag, Kitty Nascar and Tableleg Wrestling.

By the way, Rascal, another handsome Midnight kitty has a good photo documentary on this sport on his blog today, you should go see it.

As you can see in this picture, I do have a substantial belly pouch. I think this makes me look quite dignified and handsome, don't you?

It's all skin, of course.




I believe it is this handsome belly pouch that gives me freedom to stretch out quite long. More than a yard infact!

Unfortunately, as seen in Monday's post, it also means that when I lay on my back to let the sun warm my belly, and store up solar power for the night, it tends to spread out to all sides and make me look......well, wide.


I do wish my OTW would stop calling it my Belly Floop. And laughing at me when it swings from side to side as I trot.

I hope you Lady-cats will understand, Monday's picture is not a true representation of my appearance, and will not judge me too harshly based on it.


Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Dona Nobis Pacem



I want peace too. I especially want peace with Grumpybutt ‘cause then I can snuggle with him, but I want peace everywhere else too!

There's lots of kitties out there who already have it bad enough being out on the streets without a good home and humans to love them and feed them and pet them and give them treats and play with feathers with them, and if those streets are in a war zone it's even worse for the kitties, because they could be shot or blown up or run over by really big machines.

And it’s bad for the dogs and humans too.

So I think the humans should stop trying to shoot each other and blow each other up and be peaceful. Oh, and get a kitty to love, because then they'll be happier and maybe not want to fight so much.

I think the least everycat deserves is a good home and enough to eat, and love and scritches and not to have to be scared all the time. And so does every human.


(Me and Grumpybutt not fighting!)

PS. My OTW just started a blog and she put up a Peace Globe too. Go see hers! (The link’s at the side there, under my Vishus Deer of the North Pamphlet link)

Monday, November 06, 2006

Midnight Monday

My OTW has a Black Cat Fetish! No really!! Look!!!

I thought it was just all the constant pictures she was taking of me. And then I found out about the file of pictures of other black cats on her computer.
But then, I found THIS in her files!!!!

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Black Fev-ver Cats

Last night, my OTW came home with the strangest thing on her head! Black fev-ver Cats! Two of them! I couldn't figure out what these strange things were for, 'cause all she said was that she liked after-Halloween sales, because she gets the best stuff.

Well, this morning I saw this picture of her wearing the Black Fev-ver Cats and I realized what they were! LOOK!




They have tiny little Laser Eyes!! Clearly this is a new defensive weapon for repelling vishus deer!! And it must work too, because they went out yesterday in the terrible falling Evil White Stuff that hides the vishus deer from being spotted until they are much too close (though the fact that they are on the same planet as us cats is clearly too close!) and they didn't see a single vishus deer, or get attacked by one, though I'm sure they were staring with their beady little eyes at her from the woods.

By the way, Thanks Smeagol, Strider, Gizmo and Mystery for the great party! And thanks to your humans as well!
And welcome to my blog, Luna, Diva Kitty (and Fluffies) and Nicky! I've added you to my links list, everyone else, please check to make sure you're there. I tell my OTW to check carefully to make sure she doesn't miss anyone, but you know how humans are!

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Party time!

Hey everycat! Don't forget there's a party going on at Smeagol and Strider's place for all the November kitty birthdays and gotchaversaries!

Everyone's welcome!

It's Party time!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Where I live

Jake and Bathsheba asked me a while ago just how far north I am, so I thought I'd show you a couple maps that my OTW helped me mark. The first one is a map of Canada, in case anycat doesn't know where Alberta is, it's the second province on the left on the bottom row. On this map I live about where the red dot over the "Alb" is.




This second map is just Alberta. I live where the red arrow points. The "X" Is where Jasper is (the place, not the cat) That's where Jake and Bathsheba's Mom said she went. The dot with the "E" is Edmonton, and the dot with the "C" is Calgary.


On the top map there are three more arrows. The one on the left is Vancouver, where I used to live, and where I first saw vishus deer hunting me from across the road. The arrow on the right is Toronto where I was born.

Jake and Bathsheba, I was born in 1996, my OTW says, but your mom wouldn't have met me, 'cause I was born in an apartment way way way up in the sky in Toronto. We were so high the birds flew below us!!!!!! Their nests were so far down I couldn't see them. Except some of them. There was a whole big family of birds living on our balcony. The OTW called it a pigeon slum. There were lots and lots of them! More than there were cats, and I had 4 litter-brothers and a mom and two big brothers, and a big grumpy white cat I used to bug a lot, and a shy girl cat I hardly ever saw, and the climbing girl-cat, and the girl-cat who walked funny!

The pigeons were fun! Sometimes we would all line up along the window and watch fev-ver tv. My OTW says sometimes we practiced synchronized tail lashing and sometimes we would take turns talking to the birds, but they mostly pretended we weren't there. We weren't allowed out to play with them though.

My OTW went even further north than where we live. This summer the Big One's Mom came to visit and she took the OTW all the way up to where the top arrow is! She saw bears, and bison (which are like giant cows with lion's manes) and lots of vishus deer, but she said she didn't see any vishus reindeer because they're even further north than she went!!!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006


Pease go vote in the "I Love the 2Bs" competition,
  • here

  • I'm not entered, but I wanted them to know I liked them too.