Nooticles-Vishus Deer Trick?

Many of you cats will have seen Zeus's post regarding "Neuticles" Some of you will also have seen HotMBC's FSA about these.....things .....and how they may be a vishus deer trick! I decided to do a bit more research!

I wondered about what the reasons for trying to get us man-cats to want these could be. As Hot MBC suggested, perhaps to get unnecessary surgery, which is dangerous to us. Perhaps to make it difficult for us to stalk and run, and even to sit on guard for long periods of time.

Those are good reasons to want us to think we need this needless surgery. And just by implanting this worry that we aren't man-catly enough might make some of us obsess so much we lose our focus and are distracted from our vishus deers guarding duties.

But what if it is even more insidious than that?

My OTW has a "friend" who knows 'bout spy stuff, and says there are many tracking devices that are very very tiny. Tiny enough to fit in Neuticles? I think so!


These antenna could be used to track us, even to make our own bodies send signals out to the vishus deers to find us whereever we hide! And where will this all lead? Already one of the girl-cats has asked about whether the girl-cats would start needing breast implants to keep up. These tracking devices could fit into these even easier!

I'm not surprised by this development though.

Vishus deers have clearly infiltrated the media (the subject of my next informational pamphlet). First it was making us wonder if our litter smelled too bad, and they provided us with products to mask the smell of our boxes. Then it was convincing us that some of us are too fat and some of us are too skinny and they provided us with foods that would slim fat cats down and bulk skinny cats up. And now they are intent on making us obsess about whether we are perfect enough to attract cats of the opposite sex!

It all makes sense, they've been doing it to the humans for years! And look at the silly obsessions the humans are victim to! Breast implants, butt implants, injections of poisons to make lips pouty, plugs with hair on heads, fake teeth, boy-bit enlargments! Any and all of these could hide monitering equipments!

Though humans are kinda dumb. The vishus deers clearly began with this weak link in our support system, and perfected their techniques on easy targets!

There's more! The company that makes these 'Neuticles' also makes eye implants. My OTW's "friend" says some cameras are certainly small enough to fit into these eyes! They could be used to spy on where cats live and hunt, and all their favourite hiding spots without the cat even knowing! They could find out if the fake-eye-wearing-cat has young and juicy siblings and friends!

Think this is all a bit far-pounced? Well, just look at these! What possible purpose could these serve?

And yet humans are convinced to buy them! And put them on their hunting transport machines! What could be a more perfect way to track them as they hunt, and attack their machines to keep them from bringing home our kibbles?

Don't be fooled like dumb humans!

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