Midnight Monday and Update

Attack of the Paper!!!

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UPDATE

So I caught my OTW lying on the floor and I hopped up on her back and sat right in that spot where she can't get me off without tipping me off which makes me put out my claws, and I put some hard questions to her about the antler issue.

She says she doesn't know why I'm so worried and suspicious of the antlers 'cause they're just some old ones a friend of hers found in their basement and she's pretty sure they're the kind that fall off in the spring when the vishus deers grow even bigger ones, and that these are at least as old as last spring, so she doesn't think they're bugged 'cause I didn't write my expose on the vishus deer yet then. She also said it doesn't matter because in a day or two, the Big One is going to cut them up into pieces and she's going to stick them in water for weeks and weeks until they're soft and then she's going to carve them up.

She claims the needles are not the kind that the vet goes stabby in the butt with, they're the kind you play with string with and make viking socks and she says not to worry about the beaters, 'cause they're not cat beaters, they're weaving beaters to make the thread behave, like her tapestry bobbins (I thought that was what I was for!) and the earspoons are just viking Q-tips. Kind of. But not as much fun for cats to play with. Except on the hard floor, 'cause they would probably skitter good, but she's not going to let me try 'cause they're for her costume and she doesn't want me ruining them. She's pretty selfish.

I'm not sure about all this. I'm keeping a close eye on her 'cause I'm not convinced she's not got a deaded vishus deer spirit in her brains. I growled at her a lot today to see if I could make the vishus deer ghostie show itself. I'm not sure if it's working 'cause she started looking 'noyed at me, and instead of telling me to go away if I was gonna be rude, she kept picking me up and giving me crazy cat lady kisses all over my face and whiskers and nose! She may just be trying to sneak a taste of me!! And then she played cat-fishing with me for a really really really long time and maybe she was just trying to tire me out so I couldn't fight her off!

But I'm keeping a close eye on her 'cause I may not be young but I'm a fierce warrior and still juicy. Lucky for Grumpybutt he's so old and grumpy no vishus deer would eat him 'less they were desperate, 'cause he'd be all tough and stringy.

And I sat on her a long long long time, until her neck hurt, which she deserves for trying to skewer us and laughing!