Today we're gonna turn over the blog to our buddies Rock, Paper and Scissors!
They went on a spy mission... er... Grand Adventure while we were trashing the house and they're gonna tell everycat all about it!
Rock: Chapter 1: In which we find ourselves travelling Most Uncomfortably in a piece of luggage, and wondering if we had made a Terrible Mistake.
Good Afternoon, Dear Readers, or Good Morning, if it is still early where you are...
Paper: (whispering) It might be evening there.
Paper: (Whispering) It might be evening. It's evening some places, right now. It's the internets, they could be anywhere!
Rock: Oh, Yes! Yes, right, of course, or Good Evening! Allow me to introduce myself and my two compatriots! I am Rock. As you can see, I am here on the left, in my sensible brown furs. My Brother Scissors is over there, on the right in dapper but practical grey, and here beside me is my other brother Paper, in...well...
Paper: Classic Summer Whites! I do believe the telling of such a Grand Adventure deserved some dressing up, Though it appears I'm in the minority...
Scissors: Never mind that! Get to the good parts!!!
Rock: I thought I was telling this story!
A few weeks ago, our Dear Friends, Mr. Jack and and Her Royal Highness, Persephone, Queen of the Universe--
Jack: Oh meOW! You're not really going to call her that are you?
Scissors: SHHHHHHH! Our story!
Rock: Ahem, yes. Please do sit, Mr. Jack!
As I was saying, a few weeks ago, our Dear Friends, Mr. Jack and and HRH Persephone...
Rock: ...told us about the humans' strange hobby of going away all the time and pretending to be vikings.
Scissors: Or so they say!
Being from Sweden ourselves, we thought we had best investigate this Strange Habit, if only to ensure they were not spreading lies about our noble viking ancestor-rats!
Jack: And that they weren't REALLY just using all this viking stuff as an excuse to sneak in vacations from their important work as cat servants!
Rock: After much Serious Discussion, and conferring with our friends, who are Noted Experts on the Strange Behaviour of Humans, we devised a Most Clever Plan to secret ourselves amongst the vast collection of items the Humans travel with and allow us to join Them on their Journey on the sly.
Scissors: That means while the Human Lady wasn't looking, we snuck into her luggage and stowed away!
Rock: After a Long and Arduous journey we arrived at our destination and emerged, much to the chagrin of the Human Lady.
Scissors: The Lady has LUNGS!!!!
Rock: Strangely, the place we found ourselves in seemed to be entirely devoid of Vikings, and was little different from where we had come from.
Jack: It was probably cleaner!
Rock: We feared we had, in fact, stumbled upon a Great Secret, and that as our Dear Friends, Mr. Jack and Her Highness, Persephone....
Rock: had suspected, there were No Vikings!
Rock: The Human Lady was Most Upset at our presence, needless to say. And this only increased our Suspicions. We felt it only Wise to stoop to Subterfuge, and attempt to deceive the Human Lady.
Paper: We told her it was all a horrible Hide-n-Seek related misunderstanding.
Scissors: And we helped her finish her sewing.
Rock: Soon, we had calmed her histrionics, and lulled her into the belief that we were but the innocent victims of a feline prank.
Jack: Hey! You didn't tell us that part!
Rock: After rendering her aid in the Grand Tradition of Disney Movie Rats everywhere, and not airing our suspicions that the entire garment she was embellishing was some form of hoax, she agreed to allow us to accompany her on her travels the next day, in the comfort of her Sewing Basket.
Paper: It was much nicer when OUT of the luggage!
Rock: Much to our amazement, she did indeed don Viking Garb before leaving the hotel!
Rock: When we arrived at the Human Lady's new destination, we discovered to our further astonishment there were indeed many Vikings! And Normans, and Samurai, and Italians, and Mongols and indeed all the tribes of the world!
Paper: We were most fortunate to be introduced to a most Gracious Lady, a Baroness of those Lands!
Scissors: She scritched my chin!
Rock: A most Wondrous feast was laid out for our delectation! There were drums for our entertainment.
Persephone: Was there 'nip? And Blue Fin Tuna Meow-garitas?
Paper: And Strange Dances by Ladies who Danced with their Bellies!
Rock: (whispering) Abdomen. You have to say abdomen. "Bellies" isn't proper for this kind of tale!
Paper: Oh! Sorry, I do beg your pardon! Ladies who danced with their Abdomens!
Scissors: I had a date!
Paper: With who?!?!?
Rock: (smacking his face with his paw) Not the Baroness! Tell me you didn't embarrass us all by pitching rodential woo to the Baroness!!!
Scissors: No! A date! In the bowl!!!
Rock: (blink) Oh, I give up!! We had a lot of fun, everycat! We even got to ride around on the Lady for a while!
Scissors: I don't know why you were telling the story in that silly voice, anyway!
Rock: It was a Grand Adventure! Grand Adventurers are supposed to tell stories like that!
Paper: Grand Adventurer? You? You kept getting caught and falling and--
Rock: Yeah well, you're the one who--
Scissors: Nononono! We're not telling that part yet! Bye everycat! Part Two tomorrow!!!